Where do dreams go when we're done dreaming them?

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What do you want to be in the future?

I remember having so much goosebumps when I was getting asked that question many years ago when I still hadn't known about how bitter life could be, or how picky the people around me. You guys probably told those adults about the dream of being a doctor, an astronaut, a president, all those big jobs and careers with huge responsibility. No, before you assume me I was gonna judge those dreams, let me tell you one thing; I was dreaming to become a minister. Or anything that works in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, to be honest. At least any kind of job that requires "suit and tie". Because I am surrounded with that kind of people. Almost my whole big family works for the government in the ministry. Only my father takes a quite different way by choosing the non-governmental way to make a living. It still takes us everywhere. But I got influenced mostly from my relatives. I remember paying them a visit in their office and spent my entire day following them. Though I didn't get to witness the detail of their works but still, that kind of experience alone is enough to make little Dyn to have such dream. When I told my parents about it, they were very supportive. Which is why now I am in a law school, trying to get some grip of what I'm going to face in the world of Indonesian governance.

As the years gone by, I learn one or two things about myself. One is that I can never stray away too far from the creative world; two is that sometimes your dream doesn't always go the same way with your passion. I admit it, studying law isn't really my thing. I hate the fact that it's so unpredictable and debate-able, making me hard to see the real meaning of everything I'm studying here. Studying law isn't really my passion, but it's something I need to do just because I have to. All this time, my childhood dream about working in the ministry has saved me many times from the indecisiveness of life. It has driven my life and even now that I'm here, it's all because of that dream. But along the way I keep questioning myself if I really want to continue doing this. My passion has always been revolving around art. Parents are not so supportive about this one so I keep it to myself and make art as my sweet escape. It's something that I do when I'm too fed up with my "real world", where my parents' expectation are waiting and people are watching too close, art saves me.

So if you ask me again, "What do you want to be in the future?"...

I can't really tell. But I wanna work in the creative industry. Something that is related with my passion. Be it writing, photography, or graphic designing. So far I really want to work in a magazine. The world of journalism has always been so interesting for me. If my study isn't enough to earn me a job in the journalism, I don't mind taking another course or study. It's so much better than sitting around wearing suit and tie while surrounded with people with the same mind who only see black and white in their worlds. I don't think I can stand that kind of environment. But I don't know, my parents will probably scold me because that means I'm throwing away my dream. Well, that doesn't sound too bad. I have many dreams anyway. If one goes down, I still have a thousand more waiting to be brought to life.

As long as I know what I'm doing and be responsible for my own choices, I'll be okay.