Candle maker

Unbranded cardigan and tank, Gesale skirt, Solany shoes

It's almost one month.

One month ago I decided to finally open my heart and said yes to the man that I've known for a year now as my first ever boyfriend. And you know what? Something about being in a relationship teaches me about a lot of things. Like I finally learn more about myself, about how I can be so selfish at times when my better half is not spending his time with me, how annoying I can be when I don't get what I want, or how persuasive I am just so he chooses me over anything else. And I never knew I had this kind of personality before I got into a relationship. I may not be the best girl with the best personality, but like how he always says to me; "I know you hate promises, so I won't promise. Instead, I will try. That's better than promise, right?". And to appreciate his effort in trying to cope up with me and all the mess I've brought him into, I am trying to be a better companion for him. To be the best girlfriend out there.

I am a hard person to love. That's probably why I could stay single for 19 years, because I kept pushing away those who tried to knock on my door. The thing is I know that I'm a mess myself. I am difficult to handle, I have some personalities that I know if someone sees my true colors, they will leave me alone. Because I have seen people giving up on me many times before so I get used to it. I get used to seeing people come and go in my life, even the most important ones. I couldn't make them stay no matter how hard I tried. So that's why I prefer being alone. But now I have one person who would do almost anything to make sure I'm not lonely anymore. To make sure that I'm happy and blessed to have someone by my side as my home. Someone to run back into. Arms to go home to. And I'm trying—god, I really am—to be a better person for him. Not because I don't wanna be myself, but because some personalities need to go away for the sake of a better relationship. Staying true to yourself is good. But where's the good in being yourself if it hurts the people who love you? The road isn't easy. I've grown too comfortable with my selfish and annoying self for the past 19 years. I just hope that it's not too late to make some good changes.

As I told you guys on my previous post, I am wearing my brand new shoes here *happy*. Because I know I have bored you guys with the same fucking white platform shoes on many posts before so I hope this one will at least give a fresh look for you! The stripped cardigan is also a new-in. I knew it would look just good with a black LBD but since I didn't have one (yet), I paired it with my black tank and black skirt. It looks like an LBD, right? :D It's always fun playing with fashion items and recreate many looks with the same garments. Thoughts?