I knew better

Unbranded union jack tank, Gesale skirt, Hella choker, Viola platform shoes

After two weeks of final exams, it has finally come to an end today! That means I'll be able to pack my stuffs and go back home to Jakarta, yeay! :D I wasn't planning to go home but since all the people I know are going home, there's no point for me to stay any longer in Jogja. I don't really have any problem with not going back home because honestly I hate the eight hours travelling by train and not being able to do anything rather than just sitting and staring blankly outside the train. Also, rather than using my holiday time to stay back in Jakarta, I want to spend it to travel somewhere else. But that's almost impossible because we're in the middle of fasting month now and going places will surely make everything more difficult, ha!

Anyway, I think going back home becomes my only choice this time. Things have been happening here and I feel like I can't take it anymore. I need to get out of this city, or get away from a certain person. This has become my ritual whenever I feel so sad and need time to be alone, I'll go back home to my parents for a few days before returning back to Jogja. This place has becomes my home for the past one year, but you know that feeling when you really have to go away to calm your mind regardless the time and place? Yeah, that's what I've been feeling. Too bad that the distance is just too much so I can hardly go home as I pleased. For now, the best option for me is to go back home.

So there's this boy that I've known ever since I started getting into college. He's in my circle of friends and together with my other friends, we often go out and play together. I never laid my eyes on him or had any interest before but recently, we've grown closer than ever. And by 'closer' I mean we've been doing things we're not supposed to do like holding hands and hugging and cuddling and throwing secret codes like madly in love couple. Which is really terrible because this boy has a girlfriend already. And that's certainly not me. Now that we seem to drift apart (which I don't know why), I'm starting to think that I'm just an option for him when he's bored. I really feel like throwing tantrum at him for treating me like this; waltzing into my life and gives me the affection I never had, and then suddenly he walks out of my life and go on with another girl. But then again, I can't blame him, no matter how much I really wanna do that. Because I was the one who let him do this, who gave him the chance to hurt me. I knew this would happen, but still I let him. I can't do anything but to let this anger and sadness to burn until the fire is off by itself.

So pathetic.

Anyway, sorry for the lack of update these past few days. As you know, final exam does take so much of my time. But I guess I'm just too lazy to snap photos hahaha. I try not to get too exhausted when the exam still took place so I went to sleep straight after I got home from college. That's probably why I don't take outfit photos during the last two weeks because I was saving the energy I needed to study. But I have planned some new updates for you so I hope that will pay off my blog absence! Until then, happy holiday for my friends! xo