Seven confessions

Forever21 denim shirt, Nevada trousers, Elizabeth shoes

♫ Confessions about family

I guess anyone can see it straight from the beginning that I'm not a family-oriented type of girl. Yes, I don't get along with any of my family members, even either mom or dad. Still, I have a soft spot for my older brother somehow. Funny because we used to fight and scratch each other's face. But as we grew up together, I learned that he's not forever annoying, y'know. Especially when I had to practically save him from the troubles he brought himself into, I feel like I need to protect him. But it's the completely the other way around with my younger brother. My psychiatrist once told me that I had grown jealous upon my parents' treatment towards him because I was the youngest child in the family before he was born. Thus I probably developed negative relationship with him. I'm trying to fix myself tho. It's not healthy, I'm aware.

♫ Confessions about love

I have been single since I was born. I'm telling you guys the truth. I have never tied down into a relationship before. Well, an official one. The last thing I had was 'unlabeled'. A relationship where you care for each other but you're not officially a couple. I'm not one who can handle being in love without having the rest of the world knowing about it LMAO. There's this bad habit where I can't secretly fall in love (except for that one person) (where I held myself so hard because he was literally my best friend and I fell too hard for him and if he knew I had a thing for him, I was worried he would avoid me). I guess my brain interprets the action as a form of making barrier around my crush. Also, I fall in love so easy, even in the most unexpected time and with the most unexpected person. My last relationship only took four hours for me to fall for him. You can laugh at that.

♫ Confessions about abilities

I'm pretty much the jack of all trades... Though there are few fields that I guess I do it better than other fields. Like writing and drawing, for example. I've been keeping diaries ever since I was eight, and my parents realized I had a thing in choosing words when school gave me a paper in which I had to write about about my holiday. Ever since then, they always encourage me to practice my writing, even hoping that someday I will have my own book. I guess it's becoming something more than just a hobby. It helps me to clear out my mind.

I also develop a decent skill in drawing because mom put me in a drawing course along with my best friend since I was still at young age. Time flies and I fell in love with Japanese drawing style; manga. I learned all the basics by myself and made some comics (they're still crappy as fuck), and developed my own drawing style. Then I started creating my very own original characters, it was so much fun! Though I have stopped drawing (and I guess my skill is getting rusty... sigh), I can say that I'm not that rigid to make something artsy.

♫ Confessions about food

I eat all kinds of foods. And I love spicy foods most of all. I love putting lots of chili into my food because they taste much much better. I dislike vegetables, but I still eat them anyway because there's no other option not to. I mean, it's healthy, and it prevents cancer and other serious disease, so why not? Though they taste weird sometimes, but I do eat everything served on the table. I'm allergic to prawns and I don't eat corns. They taste the weirdest of all, yuck! :x

♫ Confessions about money

I'm no good in managing money. And I just happened to discover that when I started living far from my parents. Most of my money goes out to foods. Yeah, I'd rather spend them all in food than clothing just because. Happy tummy makes me feel better about life, teehee. My friends see me as a spoiled daughter. And I guess I am. I mean, being the only daughter in the family gives me the opportunity to have more stuffs because I can't borrow anything from my brothers, right? ;) I also get a lot of things like clothes and accessories inherited from my mother. Money goes around me all the time because I use that excuse, LOL.

♫ Confessions about lies

I lie a lot. I even lie to my best friend and parents and everyone. I create stories just so people will look at me differently. But I have never been caught by anyone. I'm trying to stop being a liar tho haha. It's an old habit I'm hard to stop.

♫ Confessions about blog

If I hadn't deleted my very first blog and read the entire post written there, I would have fallen from my chair right now because they were all so messed up. I don't really pay attention the birthday of lucidreams, but now that it's entering its third year, I keep remembering my first blog. I really wanna laugh at my stupidity and all. Oh I wish I really hadn't deleted that piece of shit. I'd like to reminisce some moments!

It's my go-to-college outfit today. I just bought the denim shirt and it was quite pricey but since I rarely buy something over-the-price since I started living with my parents, I think investing money on this shirt doesn't really matter. I love splurging on things I love anyway. And I've been wanting to have a denim shirt since a long time ago. I thought my mom would despise it because she's very demanding when it comes to my outfits. But when I told her I just bought a denim shirt and sent her a photo of it, she seemed so delighted with my choice. And have I told you I lost some weight? Dancing helped me getting rid of those fatty fatty and I feel happier now because I can tone down my size a bit ;D I'll be going back home to Jakarta after final exams, probably this Saturday and I really can't wait to reunite with my high school friends! ^_^

Happy Monday! xx